Stressed yet Inspired

Stressed yet Inspired

I just read an article about NaBloPoMo, how wordpress is encouraging all the bloggers to write on something worth reading everyday. Did I read it right? Everyday? Oh no! I can’t do it.

Heck, I’ll post anything under the sun whenever I can. 🙂

I would also try to post a photo everyday. uhm, I’m usually alone, so most probably, I’ll be expecting to post my very own photos. Woot!

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James’ Journey

After blogging this morning, I googled “travel bloggers” and found this one after reading at least 10 on the list. 

Journeying James. I don’t know much about him yet but I will find out soon by reading his blog.

My jaw dropped when I stumbled upon his vision of travelling the whole nation in 100 days. I don’t know yet if he finished it on time, or if he really finished it. But I think he did.

And this is my very first review on a certain blog,person, whatever you may call this. 

I don’t have followers yet but I know, someday I’ll have.  As as for now, I am taking his blog as an inspiration to pursue what I love doing. Dreaming 🙂

I will update this article as soon as I finish reading his blogs. 🙂 Whew! This really is refreshing.

 

And yes, I need to right down my Bucketlist too. 🙂

 

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Failing to Plan

I always hear this phrase, “If you fail to plan, you plan to fail.”. And I always end up being scared. Not because I don’t have dreams or visions or whatever, but because I have to many dreams, too many wishes, too many desires, that I am having a hard time to really choose what I want. 

One of my weaknesses is that, I don’t know how to focus. Maybe I do know, but I’m not good at it.

Whenever I hear good things from different people, I tend to get too excited that I am adding another vision to the next.

My friend Karen told me that because I have these too many dreams, I am failing to plan already. And that sucks.

Last week, I prayed that God would reveal to me what His plans are. And maybe because I wasn’t really earnestly seeking his answer, He just reminded me of what I do have right now, and that it needs me more than my dreams.

 

I lost my oh so old and loved HP laptop in my shop last week. I was just sad because all of the shop’s files were there. And though it runs so slow already, I still wanted to bless it to someone, and right now all I have is this borrowed laptop, and I have nothing to give.

 

My small business needs me, I know, and yet my heart is torn between this and my desires. I am doing this to remind myself that I really need to focus on my work. My crafts.

Yes, my dreams can wait. And yeah, Dawin, you will never reach your dreams without having enough funds. Gosh!

 

Oh yes, I need to focus on this business that I chose. I will start again. Without enough finances, I will do my work. I need to save up too. It has been a year and I am still struggling. I know I need to be careful in handling my finances.

 

I have too may dues too. Sadly, I am in debt. But I know my God is bigger than my problems. And that if I’d be just faithful in little things, He will then allow me to experience and enjoy the bigger ones. Bigger that what my heart is expecting.

I have learned in life not to expect too much, but from my God, too much is not even enough 🙂

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Mommylo

Mommylo died early in the morning last November 8, 2012.

Yes, I did cry but only for a while. I know in my heart, I have spent time with her before she left us.

During her wake, I seldom looked at her. Maybe because I’m still not used to seeing dead people. But because Mommylo is a family, I did look at her. I never cried during those sleepless nights.

The day of her burial, a church conducted a funeral service for her. I did cry but only for a while.

We all accepted the fact that that was the best for her. Dying. Everyone knows her condition. She can’t eat, she can’t talk, she can’t laugh, she can’t stand, and during her last moments, she can’t even move, she can’t even see. What’s worse is, we don’t know if she even recognize us.

It is a Filipino tradition to walk the dead up to the cemetery. I don’t recognize most of the people who sympathized with us. While on our way, I did cry and I cried hard. I was mourning. I was questioning myself what I was feeling. Why would I mourn if I already dedicated Mommylo to the Lord? I thought I already accepted the facts. I thought I was ready. I thought I was.

I did cry. Why? Maybe because I lost someone special.

I did cry. I did cry. Maybe because, I loved her so much and yet I wasn’t able to show her that.

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Happy Birthday Papa!

Pa, salamat kasi nagbago ka para sa amin. I love you so much. Nahihirapan akong mag express ng aking words lately kaya limited lang mga sinasabi ko. 

 

Alam ko na malungkot ka ngayon kas Wala na si Mommylo, pero alam kong secured ka rin na sa heaven sya pumunta. Sana po ikaw din, magkaroon ng desire sa heart mo na sundan din si Jesus.

 

I love you.

 

 

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Tomorrow is a new day!

Lately, I’ve been battling not with the world but with myself. One of the most typical scenarios wherein one would feel sick, impatient, disgusted, disappointed, bored, and worst, frustrated. This is no news for anyone who knows me well. Some would think that I’m just being emo-ish: some would try to understand me, some would ask what’s wrong, and some would just don’t care at all.No, I’m not looking for or wanting people to feel bad for me. I’m allowing some people to know what’s really happening to me, to my family, to my work, to my relationships, to my life. All i want is understanding, from the people whom I trust.

I’m not saying that I am not okay. I am totally fine. But depending on the situation is my definition of being fine.

In my latest blog (Friendster/Multiply), I deliberately stated there that I don’t want to blog anymore. One certain reason would be, I can’t seem to find any reason to be happy whenever I blog about myself, about my life. I don’t know if I was able to encourage people, (that was my ultimate reason for blogging before,) not just to express my thoughts.

And here I am again, blogging, and I don’t know if anyone I know would find this out.

I’m not really good with words. I’m not a linguist. And whenever I try to write about something, I can’t seem to find any depth on my work, and so I always end up not being satisfied. Oh well, I am still thankful to God that I am able to come up with a thing like this, others don’t know how to read, others don’t know how to write. Thank You lord! =)

My happiness for today:
A hug from my bestfriend… Though it seems impossible right now.:) As for her, I will really try to be the most understanding person in her life.

Okay, I’ve been sick for 5 days and I’m now ready for tomorrow’s new day.

 

blackhairedcreatureJuly 16, 2009 6:11 AM

I had my hug!

This definitely made my day…

Yey! Thank you.

I made a mistake when I said that something is impossible right now… Tsk! 🙂

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The Master’s Weakness

It was April of 2008 when I graduated from my university of 8 years,finishing Bachelor of Science in Nursing. June 2008 when I took the National Licensure Examination for Nurses and it was August when I heard the news that I passed. It was October of same year when I started working. June of 2009 was the time that I enrolled for Master of Arts in Nursing course. If I am serious and patient enough, I could finish this in two years. Plus the fact if i can come up with my own thesis. Yes, that is my weakness so far.

Alright. I decided to take this thing up, of course, for my own good: professional growth, personal satisfaction, advantages of having an advantage, etc. But now, I’m really having a hard time because research works and reports have piled up right in front of me. And I almost felt like having this regret of taking this.

Honestly, there is the possibility that I will leave the country sooner or later, and I won’t be able to finish what I have started already. There is this certain rule at school that MA students must finish their studies within 5 years. Just in case I’ll leave the country later this year or early next year, I have this plan of staying abroad for at least 5 years. Whew!

I need guidance, I need counseling. I need strength, I need wisdom. I need my God.

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